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Some simple stories on life - about happiness, mindfulness and feeling great . . .

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Being generous makes you a happy person – but only if you go about it the right way

10/18/2017

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​I think I am a giving person. And I definitely get a kick out of doing something for others. Simple things like getting up early, doing the shopping and making breakfast for my family so they can get up, slide into their seat at the breakfast table, stretch and smile that lazy, luxurious way that says – “life’s pretty good”. Yep I get a kick out of that.

A recent study by the University of Zurich involved 50 participants who were promised a sum of money that they would receive in the next few weeks and were supposed to spend. Half of the study participants committed to spending the money on someone they knew while the other half committed to spending the money on themselves. The study concluded that generosity makes us happier, even if we are only a little generous. People who act solely out of self-interest are less happy. And even merely promising to be more generous is enough to trigger a change in our brains that makes us happier.

Well that makes sense . . . except that I have had this nagging feeling for a while that I haven’t been getting the same buzz out of giving that I used to. Are my acts of generosity really giving me energy, or taking it away . . . ?

There is a book out called “The Disease to Please”, written by Harriet Braiker, which explores our need to please and questions whether we are sometimes self harming ourselves by over-giving. Do we have an urge for approval, or a fear of confrontation that makes us create a persona of “niceness”? If I were really honest – I would have to say I do sneak into this category from time to time.

The key message is that it’s OK to put yourself first. Only be nurturing yourself, giving yourself the love and life that makes you happy, will you be ready and able to give to others in a meaningful way. It’s all about balance and maintaining those important energy levels. . . .
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Forget About the Future . . .

10/4/2017

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​Are you someone who thinks a lot about where you are heading, what you will be become, who you will be with, where you will live . . . ?

I do. I think about this sort of stuff all the time. And there is nothing fundamentally wrong with gazing out in time, contemplating what life will bring you. Except, when you forget about where you are actually at right now.

I am in the middle of reading “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coello. Buy it and read it. It’s amazing, having sold over 30 million copies worldwide (at least that was at the time my copy was printed) and translated into 63 languages. The story charts the travels of an Andalusian shepherd boy who learns about listening to his heart and fulfilling his destiny. 

One of the lessons this shepherd boy learns along the way comes from a camel driver who relates some advice he receives from a fortune-teller which goes like this . . .
​“When people consult me, it’s not that I’m reading the future: I’m guessing at the future. The future belongs to God, and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”
​It’s a powerful message and made me physically sit up and think. About how my life sometimes feel as is though it’s passing me by, and that somehow it will all come together when I get to where I am headed.

And that’s my lesson for today. To make each day my eternity – to pay attention to what’s around me right now and to make of my life something special . . . one day at a time . . .
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    Author

    https://www.lifekindness.org/Hi I'm Richard Norris. I live in Wellington, New Zealand, with my wife Jolanda.

    After many years or working and observing human nature I decided to launch www.itsgoingtobegreat.org - all about happiness, mindfulness and feeling great. 
    ​

    Much of the material is taken from everyday life experiences. My motivation is to give something back to a world that has given me so much - and the hope is that someone, somewhere reading this just might realise some of their dreams.

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Photos used under Creative Commons from Miles.Wolstenholme, torbakhopper, fabbio, KSpyroglou, Matthew Paul Argall, wuestenigel, symphony of love, darraghoconnor12, mikecogh, Fibonacci Blue, susivinh, www.tiket2.com, symphony of love, samsaundersleeds, @bastique, CJS*64 "Man with a camera", Tabsinthe, Christopher.Michel, lorenkerns, CJS*64 A man with a camera, Rorals, symphony of love, Nano Taboada, Anne Worner