How many times have you sat at work, or at home, and dreamed of your next holiday? Maybe you have planned to go somewhere local, the beach or the mountains, or maybe a resort overseas . . . Your holiday involves meeting friends or family, a romantic liaison, or simply taking time off on your own . . .

I have dreamed like this. Many times. I used to work fifty hours a week for forty-eight weeks a year in a job which was . . . well sort of OK. But it was all right because, hey I was off on holiday soon. Thirty-eight days and counting in fact. And tomorrow morning it would be thirty-seven and a half. We hay!

Nah. That's not right. The quote at the top of this blog has it pretty well right and so its worth repeating. 

Instead of wondering when our next vacation is, we should set up a life we don't need to escape from: Seth Godin

Its so tempting to make excuses about the lives we lead. And taking holidays is the absolute ultimate in excuse making. And don't get me wrong. Holidays are a really great thing but not when they create a mask over the life you are really leading.

Someone once said to me: think of what you really love doing and make it your job. Yes it is aspirational and yes I know it may not seem immediately practical. But just stop for a minute, close you eyes and dream. Dream of a life without constraints . . . where you have unlimited choice . . . where money doesn't matter  . . . and where nobody will judge you. What would you do? And now open you eyes and write down what you just thought of.

I was inspired earlier this week via a facebook message from a friend. This friend also had a dream, about starting a company focusing on positivity. He gave up his day job, worked and worked and worked, hooked up with partners, started a website and cold called company after company. Well anyway, the message earlier this week was prompted by three firm orders, all on the same day. The hard work had paid off, and more importantly the courageous leap from a safe job to doing something this friend really loved had come to fruition.

So what did you dream, and what did you write down? Is it really so impractical . . .????

On day two of the course I had been sent on by work, we were let loose for two hours with a blank sheet of paper to write our own personal mission statements. And to help us we were given a list of questions – designed to inspire, excite and scare us a little. I haven’t got that original list, but here are some in that theme :

1. If money or location were irrelevant - what would your ultimate dream job be?
2. You have just won a competition for an all expenses paid trip to anywhere in the world - 1 month - you get to choose - where would you go?
3. If you could join the Board and direct efforts of one charitable organisation, which one would you choose?
4. Who do you most admire? 
5. What did you do in the last year that you were incredibly proud of?
6. What would you do if you knew nobody would judge you?
7. You have won $10 million. What is the first thing you would do?
8. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
9. You get the chance to train as a teacher - what would you teach?
10. You have a month at a cottage in the mountains - no telephone, no internet, no neighbours, no shops - what would you do?
11. Your friends are asked to say what they like about you in a confidential survey - what do you think they would say
12. What made you smile today?

There was the usual pen chewing and distractions to deal with of course, and then I attempted the first question . . . and then the second . . . and then there was no stopping me. And I realized a common theme was emerging – what I wanted my life to look like if I had the courage to get over my fears. 

And the result was amazing. I came home on a cloud that day because for the first time I had described me as the person I honestly wanted to be. I felt happy just thinking about it.

I still carry that page around today. I looked at it last week. My life has moved on but the things I talked about are still relevant today. I like to think I have taken some risks in life and done some stuff which has inspired me but still scares me. Like starting this website for instance.

Take some time today, or even right now. Answer some of the questions – instinctively and honestly. And start to dream. Because we only have one shot at this big, bold and beautiful time on earth we have been given.

Dare to live a life that scares you a little!

I have been interested for a while in a concept called appreciative inquiry. I came across it at work and the concept sounded simple, yet a little scary. Let me explain.

The simple part is that appreciative inquiry is all about positivity. Focusing on what your organisation is doing right and then building on these strengths. Sounds sensible and logical?

OK then, but here comes the slightly scary bit. With appreciative enquiry, the “problems” in your organisation are effectively ignored – the principle being that if you do more of the things you are good at, the problems will sort themselves out. Put another way, appreciative inquiry suggests that you can create change by paying attention to what you want rather than paying attention to problems.

People find this part a little scary because we are used to solving problems. We like to fix things. So the concept of not focusing on problems may put some of us out of our comfort zone.

A great example of appreciative inquiry comes in the context of staff culture surveys. You know - the kind that ask you how much you like your working environment, how much you rate your managers and colleagues, whether you understand your organisation’s mission, how well managers communicate with staff etc. In most places I have worked, teams generally then get set up to “solve” the top ranking “concerns” from survey results. They huddle, work out an approach, implement a set of actions and report back to staff. Commendable and well meaning.

But appreciative inquiry turns that thinking on its head and says  - instead of focusing on problems you should focus on thetop ranking survey outcomes. So for instance if staff like the monthly “all hands” meeting with the CEO, think about how you can do that even better. Or if the way the organisation communicates with its customers is admired, think about how you can improve that another notch. 

The research seems to point strongly to suggest those organisations with a positive culture focused on building on their strengths outperform those with a more traditional “fix the problems” approach. I’m not sure anyone needed to do that research – doesn’t that sound intuitively right? 

We can use the concept of appreciative inquiry in our personal lives. My example is my daughter’s school reports. If you are like me, you will know how tempting it is to head straight for the areas where they have been marked lower, or where the comments are less positive. Your eyes almost get hijacked. 

So I have made it a rule, every time, to first look at and talk about the areas where they have done well. I spend 80 to 90% of my time talking about these areas with them. 

And the interesting thing is that you actually achieve a whole lot more with this approach. Not only do they love you for putting there good marks first, but the conversation at the end on the more difficult stuff becomes so much easier. By talking first about what they had done well I was amazed at how forthcoming they became about what they hadn’t.

So out of the mouths of babes – to multi national corporations. The principle is the same. Focus on what you do well and do more of it. It will get you further in life, and its a whole lot more fun . . .