Have you ever heard of the big rocks small stones theory . . . ? Well it goes like this. You have a bucket - and beside the bucket you have a pile of rocks, a pile of pebbles, a pot of sand and  jug of water. Your aim is to get all of them into the bucket. So how do you do that? Well the short answer is that you do it by putting the rocks in first, then the pebbles which mould themselves into the gaps the rocks leave, then the sand and then the water.

Its an imitation of life - and its basically saying that you need to figure out and do your big rocks first - not last.

Well I am the master at doing the sand and the pebbles first. I know jolly well what my big rocks are, but I just cant help putting things like doing the washing, watering the garden, tidying and other pebble/sand like things in front of doing the big things which I know have meaning. 

I am starting to "just do it" by starting this website and writing this blog. Because this is my big rock. And I feel great just sitting here typing.

In some cases I felt pretty good about what I saw. I liked how I reacted to some things. In other cases I felt not so good – almost ashamed. Until then I had no real idea how was acting and behaving – mostly out of the spotlight of others and in my own private moments I saw myself becoming frequently frustrated. I would have thoughts and act in ways I would shudder to witness or contemplate in others.

It was a breath of fresh air – like seeing myself for the first time in the raw. No pretending or acting. And did it help me? Yes absolutely. I am better at observing myself more often and “catching” myself when I slip into behavior I don’t like. Like the other day for instance I was driving to work and becoming impatient with slower drivers (I have always been like this if I am honest). But I was able to observe and stop my behavior by asking myself some pretty basic questions.

Here they are:

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?